I am super excited to share with you guys an amazing practice that I started implementing in my life, where I went from basically nearly ending my life to completely thriving through a divorce. I learned so many things along the way. As a coach/mentor with over 8 years of experience combined with international motivational speaking and my certifications in transformation and confidence divorce coaching, I have helped so many others going through this experience to not just survive, but truly thrive and rebuild on the other side while achieving their desired outcomes through the process.
As I was going through my divorce, like many other, I found myself hitting rock bottom… I was at the lowest point in my life, I didn’t know who I was anymore, I was completely terrified. I was hopeless. But then I started implementing a couple of practices into my life, including the system and program that I’ve completely developed on my own using years of experience and research. I began to thrive and rebuild my life again, falling back in love with myself and with life. I achieved so many things that had only previously been dreams and became a glowing reflection of living again on the other side of my divorce while also getting the things I wanted throughout it.
One thing that really made a huge impact in my life as I started to go through my divorce experience was creating a positive mind & healthy soul routine to create some new structure in my life.
My Daily Positive Mind & Healthy Soul Routine
- Implemented the “Five Second Rule” – This is something that I learned from the amazing Mel Robbins, she has a book out called “The 5 Second Rule”, I highly recommend you read it. This practice helps us overcome fears and objections that happen in our brain. You simply have a thought then countdown from 5 and take action; you’re basically refocusing your brain from over thinking the situation and talking yourself out of it to “5-4-3-2-1, go”. This is something that I specifically implemented in my morning; Like Mel advises, I love to start my day off with the five second rule. When my alarm goes off I do not snooze, it’s 5-4-3-2-1, stand up. I actually keep my phone on the other side of the room so I have to stand up to get to it. This makes me get up and get my day moving and it starts my brain off in the right place because I’m not going back to sleep and disrupting my natural sleep patterns
- Started using morning Affirmations – If you’re not sure what those are or you need some ideas for those, be sure to check out the last post because I go through those in depth there.
- Immediate morning hydration (Water) – I cannot get enough water into my body. I know this sounds silly and you are probably thinking, “how’s water going to help me through my divorce?”…When you fuel your body correctly you’re going to feel so much more positive, better and ready to tackle any situation and your day ahead.
- Focused on AM small gains – I try to get a small win quickly in the morning. It can be something as simple as a skincare routine or making your bed, but have something on your to do list every morning that is an accomplishment for you and that you can easily check off. This is all about boosting your confidence levels. There is actually research out there that shows that once you boost that confidence level and feel like you’ve accomplished something that you are more likely to get even more done throughout the day. Quick, small wins help you with your productivity as well as your confidence.
- Practiced PM Gratitude– this is normally something I do at the end of the day, as I’m lying down to fall asleep at night. I write down in a journal (or you can just tell yourself in your head) what I’m most thankful for from that day. It allows me to reflect positively on the day and train my brain to focus on the positive, no matter how good or bad that day went. Life is either happening to you or it’s happening around you and you’re accepting your perception of it. I want to help you guys realize that your divorce is not happening to you. Instead, it is a gift and an opportunity that you can use to reframe your life rebuild, re-grow, and truly thrive.
Top Questions I Get About Helping Others Thrive Through Divorce
- Q: Why would I need a divorce coach? Well, the answer to this is the stress and emotional overload of getting a divorce can make it difficult to think clearly and make the right decisions throughout your divorce. A divorce coach can help you cut through the emotions and the often conflicting advice that friends and family give. This enables you to make the best decision for yourself, your ex, and your children if you have them. Divorce coaches are specifically trained to guide you through every step of the divorce process, including building your new life once it’s over. A divorce coach will help you with the transition adapt to your new circumstances. And that’s the most amazing thing that somebody somebody can do is invest in themselves, the time and energy to truly transition to adapt to their new circumstances and thrive.
- Q: Is a coach the same as a therapist? No. Divorce coaches are additionally trained in the business aspect of the divorce process and are solutions-focused. Coaching also helps you to establish effective communication with your ex-spouse, your children and legal professionals. Therapists support you emotionally, they often explore why are you feeling a particular emotion and how that might relate to your family of origin. Coaching is a more action-oriented process. It’s designed to help you make changes in your life to achieve your desired outcomes and truly rebuild and flourish.
- Q: How can I afford it when I’m going through a divorce? Divorce coaching can actually save you money. Let me explain… Divorce coaches help you with organization and preparation, they save you so much time through the process by guiding you through it with focus on solutions and actions to achieve desired outcomes. Divorce coaches often charge way less per hour than an attorney and they’re trained to help you work through emotional issues that a lawyer is not going to help you with. Coaching helps you manage your feelings so you can become less emotional and reactive; this means that you are able to gain clarity and focus. Throughout the process, you’re going to be less reactive instead of being overly emotional. When talking to a legal professional (who is charging by the second) you avoid unconsciously wanting them to offer emotional advice; instead you can focus strictly on business and getting what you deserve desire and are worthy of. This makes your time with legal professionals more efficient and makes you less reactive and emotional in your divorce process, meaning everything is more time efficient.
Let me know in the comments below what you’re going to start doing in your daily routine to start thriving.